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When Andrew and I got married in July of 2017, I never thought that I would be pregnant in 2018! As thrilled as we both are now, it was quite the journey getting to this place mentally. In our first year of marriage we talked about having kids one-day but “one-day” always seemed like it would be very far in the future. We both had so many things we wanted to-do first (travel, buy our dream home, get to a certain position in our careers, etc.). 

Being the planner (and somewhat day-dreamer;)) that I am, I had a five-year plan with goals and plans that actually didn’t include pregnancy! 

But as usual, God’s plan for our lives was different than my plan. Thankfully His plan is ALWAYS so much better than anything I could have dreamed of..

At around 4pm on some Tuesday in May I decided to take an at-home pregnancy test because I had not felt “right” for a couple days. I will never forget that moment when I was standing in my bathroom staring at the positive pregnancy test in true disbelief and shock. I remember thinking (probably talking out loud to myself at this point) “NO WAY! There is something wrong with the test!”. Lol! Denial is such a real thing!! So then I took three more tests.. and of course they were all positive! At around this time my phone rang, Andrew was calling. 

“Hello” -Me

“Hey, babe! Hows your day going?” – Andrew

“..It’s fine, hows yours?” -Me

“Just wanted to let you know Im working a little late tonight, that ok?” -Andrew

“YES! Take your time! Love you!” – Me

I now had some time to figure out what to do. What to do?? Like there was something I could do? After talking to myself for a good thirty minutes I decided it was a good idea to tell him, lol!   Even though I knew he would be OVER THE MOON excited I was so nervous to tell him. I went to Target (which always puts a girl in good mood!) and found a trophy that said “#1 Dad”. When Andrew got home from work I gave him the trophy and I told him I was pregnant. Andrew was THRILLED! He reassured me that this was the biggest blessing, even if it was not a part of our plan. He embraced the entire pregnancy so quickly and recorded multiple videos of us on his phone that night for us to have as a memory and one day show Ava! P.s. I am so glad he did that!! 

Even though I knew this was part of God’s plan, my fears were still in my head. As selfish as this all may sound, we were already so busy with work, school, and other personal matters how would we have time? I was loving life just the two of us. I loved having the freedom to do whatever we wanted. I honestly wanted more time with just Andrew. I was so afraid this would change our marriage in a way that we weren’t ready for. I’m not sure why, but I was just so freaked out! I was fearful that we were not “ready” yet.

Thankfully, the Lord revealed so many things to me in the weeks that followed. I realized how much fear I was living in. He showed me that there would never be a time in life where our lives were perfect. If we waited for that to happen, we would never be ready because life will never be perfect! There will always be challenges and trials, that is a part of life. However, we can feel confident that through the trials HE will stand by us, and BLESS US so much more than we can imagine and ever deserve. 

As I near the end of my pregnancy, I can honestly say that I have never felt more blessed by God. The gift of pregnancy has completely changed my perspective on so many things. I am not in control, but God is and His plan is so much better than mine! Any fears that I had about a baby changing our marriage or our life have melted away. Our marriage has strengthened in the best way and our relationship feels even more special than it did before. I know that this is perfect timing.I feel overwhelmingly thankful that the Lord has blessed us with a baby, and I truly can’t wait for this new season of life. 

If you’re working through any fears and “what if’s” I just want to encourage you to take those fears to the Lord! He will work in ways you can’t even imagine so do not live in fear! He will work everything out in His time. 

All my love,

Alex